I’m going to be completely honest, I didn’t want to be here. I’ve been to Berlin before and I didn’t really like it much. I wanted to go to either London or Florence, both top on my travel bucket list, but I had to put 6 options, and couldn’t just put London and Florence, so I put Berlin because it was the “cheapest” option. I explicitly remember telling my mom “Oh there’s no way I’m getting Berlin, it’s my fifth choice”. I was devastated when I found out I had gotten the Berlin class. I remember calling my mom on the verge of tears, trying to make sense of the situation.
I regretted putting Berlin as an option altogether. For months, I tried to hype it up for myself, but I was never really excited about it. Then I found out that a friend was coming here too so I felt like “okay It might not be too bad afterall”. It was finally one step forward. However, 2 days before my flight to Berlin, I found out that my friend didn’t get her visa. Aaaand there it was, ten steps back. I was so miserable, I literally cried myself to sleep the first night. I remember telling myself that it’s only 19 days. My friends kept telling me to make the best out of it, but it seemed impossible. I absolutely and utterly hated it.
Then class started and I guess it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I got to know the girls I shared an apartment with a bit, they seemed nice but we weren’t close. Day by day the class started being more fun and we started warming up to each other. In class we were meeting all those great musicians that were living my dream of creating music professionally. And after class I was exploring the city, one restaurant at a time, but I spent most of my time that first week watching Bridgerton in bed.
It was the making projects that made me like the class a little bit better. I love creating stuff, but I’m never inspired enough nor have the time to create something, so this was perfect. From making sound collages to writing a poem, I slowly started opening up and channeling my inner artist. It may not seem like it, but through these makings I began warming up to Berlin and to the people here.
The change was subtle but overnight I found myself having so much fun here. The girls and I started working together in the common area of our apartment every night, killing scary bugs and doing movie nights, watching movies whose names I do not even remember. Little by little these random moments turned into inside jokes and developed a bond between us.
Then out of nowhere, Aaron sent out a link asking us to make paper clips. Make paper clips? How? Why? My curiosity got the better of me and I opened the link. And within a few minutes, I was running a multi billion business. I got so engrossed in my paper clip business that it started being a distraction.
Before I knew it, it was the last week of class and I found myself dreading leaving. I am still confused how and when the transition from counting down the days to not wanting to leave happened, but it left me feeling confused. How is it possible that I did a complete 180 in the span of a few days? Was it the artists? Or the meditation? The in-class activities perhaps? Finally knowing my way around the u-bahns? can’t forget about the junkies too, or possibly the pizzas? Nah, I don’t think so… Maybe it was Dark Matter? Is it the people we met? the flea markets? But also the ice-creams, perhaps all of the above?
We’re almost at the finish line, but I kinda don’t want this class to end. I don’t want to leave Berlin so soon. I miss home, but there’s so much I haven’t seen yet. so many people I haven’t met yet. So many places I haven’t tried yet. This class made me understand myself a bit better. It made me realize how happy I get when I am making, or even talking, about the things I love. It was a needed wake up call that doing the things you love is an active choice and every day spent not doing it is a wasted opportunity. It showed me that I can pursue whatever I love even if I don’t have the resources, education or support as long as I believe in myself, as cliché as it sounds. This class has changed the way I think and my outlook on life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that this class was magical and completely fixed my life but I feel like I had some ~minor~ personal improvements since the beginning.