Dear Diary,
Today is the last day of my first week in Berlin. I am doing a June Term called Creating. Honestly, I had no idea what the class would be about, I just wanted an art related class. This is not what I was expecting, and now that I think about it, it actually makes sense.
At first, when the professor said that we would focus more about the process rather than the final product, I was relieved, because it took so much pressure off me. But after the first Make assignment, I was confused. I wanted a “critique” of my final product, and I wanted to know what the others thought of it. Now I see that what I was expecting is some sort of validation. I wanted to know what could I do to make it better.
I rushed the second assignment, I didn’t like the result. We also had our two first artist visits of the class. It was … interesting. After the first one, I was really afraid all of them would be like that, I expected more from the session and I didn’t like the way the artist referred to some things. However, after the second one, I was at ease. I wouldn’t say it will be my favorite one, but I enjoyed the visit overall. We also had the opportunity of going to the place where the exhibition will have place. I am really nervous, I am not sure what I want to make and if it’s going to be good enough. Maybe I can incorporate something I like to the project, it still feels vague how this is going to work, I guess I will have to wait another week to have clearer ideas.
We also do meditation in class. This was incredibly bizarre to me. Maybe it is because I am not used to it, and I didn’t completed all the meditations. You see, I was late to two classes and arrived in the middle of the meditation. I was so embarrassed. Anyway, I am starting to like the meditation, or maybe not, maybe I just want to enjoy it so I force my self to think I like it. I am sure that meditation will help a lot to focus, because, as you already know my dear diary, I struggle a lot when it comes to paying attention.
Well, I think that’s all for this week. I am somehow excited for next week, I am not sure why, but I hope I can have fun. Maybe my next Making assignments will be more successful.
Sincerely, Sophie
Dear Diary,
It’s me again! Today is the end of the second week of classes. Can you believe that we are done with 2/3 of the course? It is terrifying. Not the course, but how fast it is going.
I am starting to like the readings we do. Specially the second book. They (both books) do some mentions about crafts. You know I love crafts, it comes naturally when you are part of the craft circle. You know how I hate when people look down on them. Who says it cannot be art? Crafts can involve the same amount of effort as the fine arts. You know how much time I put into my crochet.
Anyway, I might complain about this with you another day, today is about my week. I had more fun this week. We had a Make assignment in groups! I was really afraid it wouldn’t go well, or I would let down my team, but I am actually happy with the assignment. It was fun to imagine apple inspired clothes. Maybe I should actually make them one day.
Talking about Make assignments, I loved the open one. I had so much fun. As my diary, you should already be aware of my aversion to any type of audio production. I don’t need to remind you the reason behind it. But I decided to mix some audios nevertheless. I wanted to try the software the professor showed us in class. Best decision ever. Yes, I admit it, listening to my own voice was not something I am used to, but I ended up liking the sound of it.
Let me tell you a secret (I mean everything I am writing here is a secret, you are my diary after all, duh), I started my assignment late, but I could have ended way earlier. I just chose not to. The final audio was long enough, but I was having so much fun I wanted to continue and I didn’t want to sleep. It made me realize that what I like about crochet is the process, not the product. It makes me incredibly happy documenting what I love. It just makes me remember all the fun I had when I was crocheting. The final audio was okay, I guess, I know nothing about audio standards for good and bad. I don’t really care either way. It’s only as if… this class was about creating and not the creation itself, who would’ve thought?
I liked the artist’s visits this week better, even if I got lost. Did I learn something? I don’t know, I am still trying to figure out some of my thoughts. But something definitely happened. Maybe I did change after the talks, maybe it was more like a multiplication by 1 kind of situation, but the effort was there. I feel the same way about the readings. I am not sure how I can translate what I read into my daily life. I still don’t get it. I feel like I need to actually read the whole book (and reflect on it) to “get it”. I am still not sure what “it” is, I will tell you once I get it.
Meditation was also nice. I get stressed because I feel like I am not doing it correctly. I am trying, and I feel I am getting better at it. I want to continue to see where I can get. I will update you about it later.
I am afraid of the final exhibition. I am putting a lot of pressure on me. This could be something I am incredibly proud of or something I will feel disappointed later on. Hopefully, I will figure this out next week. I will tell you then what happened.
Sincerely, Sophie
Dear Diary,
You might be surprised by the fact that it is not the end of the week and I am here writing. Well, you are a diary, so deal with it.
I finally got the supplies for the final exhibition, I am excited to see how we will figure things out.
The artist visits this week were amazing. Let me tell you about it. I am amazed by the way these artists create. Their artwork is completely different of what I am used to. I like listening to them explain how they work and how they create. I also want to do it. I am not sure how, but we will figure it out once I am doing it. Am I inspired?
Anyway, I am genuinely enjoying this class. Please don’t tell the professor, it is kind of embarrassing to admit it. How could you tell him? You are just a diary. Forcing me to make things helped me to actually do something. I always postpone what I want to do, I am always out of ideas. These past weeks felt different. I don’t know how to explain it, I need to organize my thoughts. I am still waiting for the rest of the week. I will tell you once I am flying home. See you then!
Sincerely, Sophie